प्रसाद्य जगदात्मानं तपसा दुष्प्रसादनम् ।
भवच्छिदमयाचेऽहं भवं भाग्यविवर्जितः ॥३४॥
mayaitat prÄrthitaá¹ vyarthaá¹
cikitseva gatÄyuá¹£i
prasÄdya jagad-ÄtmÄnaá¹
tapasÄ duá¹£prasÄdanam
bhava-cchidam ayÄce 'haá¹
bhavaá¹ bhÄgya-vivarjitaḥ
mayÄ - by me; etat - this; prÄrthitam - prayed for; vyartham - uselessly; cikitsÄ - treatment; iva - like; gata - has ended; Äyuá¹£i - for one whose life; prasÄdya - after satisfying; jagat-ÄtmÄnam - the soul of the universe; tapasÄ - by austerity; duá¹£prasÄdanam - who is very difficult to satisfy; bhava-chidam - the Personality of Godhead, who can cut the chain of birth and death; ayÄce - prayed for; aham - I; bhavam - repetition of birth and death; bhÄgya - fortune; vivarjitaḥ - being without.
It is very difficult to satisfy the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but in my case, although I have satisfied the Supersoul of the whole universe, I have prayed only for useless things. My activities were exactly like treatment given to a person who is already dead. Just see how unfortunate I am, for in spite of meeting the Supreme Lord, who can cut one’s link with birth and death, I have prayed for the same conditions again.
Sometimes it so happens that a devotee engaged in the loving service of the Lord desires some material benefit in exchange for this service. This is not the proper way to discharge devotional service. Out of ignorance, of course, sometimes a devotee does so, but Dhruva MahÄrÄja regrets his personal behavior in this connection.
